"People born naked, died naked, too.
That's why I live most of my life try to always be naked."

Probably that's what Miley Vyrus thought all this fucking time... #society

I don’t light the candle

[I]

I was made of a cake, a gift and a candle;

In a sweet birthday party and a cuddle.

A glorious invitation with a name on it

Everybody’s invited.

Those happy faces,

Lurking sounds behind their smiles,

Find me with a starry hat

In my mother`s  arm.

[II]

I was made of freedom, dreams, and hopes

I stare at the ceilings and I learn a word “above”.

The party`s gone

I could finally lean on.

I wear my loveliest suit;

Waiting for a cherry-bite.

 A wrapped box with its colorful ribbons

It says a name I couldn’t remember.

[III]

I am a realist

I don’t light the candle

I don’t make my own age

I don’t know, what I`m made of now.

But, I bought myself a party

But, I give myself a special gift

But, I picked a cherry by myself

And I sing myself a birthday song.

Because I don’t light the candle;

That’s just I can`t handle.

Eyes, Ears, Lips, Heart

Sometimes these tears could easily fall,
When these eyes wanted to call;
Your silhouette stays beneath my eyeballs,
Yet, it climbs my wall.

Hear the wind...
It softens your mind;
Hear me... when loves makes me blind;
You are the one to find.

"I love it,
the way I miss you
I miss it,
the way you need me,
I need it,
the way I love you; the way you love me back; the way we love each other."

Look at this heart
Hear what it calls
Say nothing but the simple truth;
It belongs to you; I.

At Least

He needs to halt;
doesn't even know where to start

He lost his mind
Yet, he is blind

--

His life is like a city that burns the sky
He lives his heart like a paper left in the rain

Years gone by
Things have just remained unchanged

That blind selfish weak man
Now touches his ashes, he was cremated
"I told ya, his life is like the city that turns into dust
I told ya, his heart is torn apart"

--

that man;
howling
and people feared
and the girls cried.

he is unwanted

--


Now, I can see things
Even its a total dark
Quite surprised I wasn't that blind
Alas!
Why can`t I hear my very own laugh??
Well, at least I wasn't dead, just breathless
Even this heart doesn't beat
At least, I`m alive
Even this coffin doesn't fit me
--

Crux

Disheartened by the wind that blows;
His life is full of tales;
Where the leaf won`t bow,
And the trees grow pale.

Like a wingless bird that cant sing;
He tried to swing
And he went nowhere,
He stood, just there.

He talked to me but I ain`t his God.
Then, he walked up to his God and pleaded
"Dear God, Thou art in the know of mine blatant and sinful heart forsooth;
Prithee! Parfay, begging Thee to remove `tis ruth somewhither the heart won`t sail...
..won`t sail..."

Li(F)e

Life
Life
Life
Li_e
F?
Frankness?
Falsehood?

That`s LiFe;

Heartless

I wished this poem were not even exist:

Tears me up to see me
I`m wasting my life just to see you
because it ends up with nothing--
wasting in just believing.

You don`t have to crawl on my feet;
Pleading your hearts to be fed.
Sick of trying on to meet.
Think nothing of me, afraid.

It`s just a war between your fantasy and mine

Between tragedy and comedy

Hujan di bulan Februari

Semua tengadah;
Mencaci malam-
Membuka tabir-
Menutup mimpi.

Parau suaranya.
Hujan menyergap kerongkongannya
Isaknya kini bualan
Kini kelu.

"Biarkan hatinya berkata-kata-
Hingga narasi ini tiada"

Masa Padam

Jangan salahkan kakimu bila kepalamu yang mampu gerakanmu.
Tangan? Mengapa kau pun turut menyalahkan kepalamu?
Telinga? Mengapa harus menyalahkan apa yang kepalamu katakan tentang hal yang harus kau dengarkan?
Mata? Bodoh! Engkau melihat mereka menyalahkan kepalamu, akhirnya kau pun menyalahkan kepalamu juga!
Kalian konyol! Bahkan terlampau tolol!
Tunggu...Kepala?! Engkau menyalahkan perutmu akan semua yang kau perintah? Kenapa?
Tuhan! Lihat, perut itu yang kini...menyalahkan...sesuatu yang tak berbentuk...tolong aku, kepala, mata, telinga, kaki, tangan, lihat apa itu...
Meyedihkan! Mungkin harusnya kalian menyalahkan tungku itu! Bukan, bukan tungku, terlampau padam, tak ada abu ataupun bara api. Mungkin itu hati.

Some Tips How to Forget Your Ex

Shit, I cant believe what I wrote above.haha...
(eh Assalamua`alaikum)
Well, pada dasarnya saya sudah sering menemukan orang2 atau kerabat dekat saya look themselves as if they were nothing without their EX (-es). Actually, saya menulis ini bukan karena saya jago ato apalah, tapi karena saya benar2 ingin mencoba hal yang kiranya baik untuk dilakukan in accordance to ME not You.hehehe...Oh, one more thing, Im not a doctor of this 'thing or whatsoever, Im just trying to share what I`ve learned!!

The first thing is that we have to do is to make us realize the lists below *Tanda (...) adalah contoh jawaban:
1. Apa yang membuat anda sangat menyukai lawan jenis anda (sesama jenis mungkin,?Shit no)? (Tampan? Kaya? Berwibawa? Lucu?)
2. Apakah orang yang pernah anda sukai membuat anda menjadi lebih baik dari sebelumnya? (Tidak ah, malah membuat saya menjadi lupa akan siapa diri saya dan betapa berharganya saya)
3. Apakah anda berfikir bahwa hanya orang tersebut yang bisa membuat anda bahagia kedepannya? (Mungkin, tapi bukankah kebahagiaan itu juga tergantung bagaimana kita menyikapi semua masalah?)
4. Jika hal yang anda sayangkan hanyalah um1.ur pacaran yang panjang, coba fikirkan berapa lama lagi anda miliki watu di masa depan? (Sayangnya masa depan kita bukanlah sebuah kepastian. Jadi keep moving on adalah pilihan yang seharusnya dipilih, time is money, and money is credit hours.haha)
5. Apakah anda bahagia bersamanya? ( Ya, DULU, BUKAN SEKARANG!)

Secondly, what we have to do are...

1. Konsultasikan semuanya kepada Pencipta anda (boleh orang tua juga).
2. Jangan membenci mereka, karena membenci pada akhirnya emang ga akan ada puasnya.
3. Terimalah semuanya dengan ikhlas (ini susah tapi bukan berarti mustahil untuk dilakukan), yakin bahwa Tuhan emang milihin kita pasangan yang jauh lebih baik.
4. Berfikirlah bahwa kebahagiaan yang mantan anda miliki adalah kebahagiaan anda juga. Jangan paksakan keadaan.
5. Jangan menutup diri anda dari orang yang baru anda kenal, siapa tau dia bisa membuat anda lebih baik?
6. Belajarlha dari kesalahan.

Finally, we arrive at one point!
Kalo emang hasilnya nihil, artinya anda butuh waktu! NAH WAKTU ITU JANGAN GALAU2AN MULU, just fix yourself! Pada dasarnya, kalo emang ga niat buat berubah untuk jadi lebih baik semua yang di atas tu sia2. Innamal a`malu bin niyaat. hehe... Bulatkan niatnya dulu, dan yang terakhir, life is an adventure! (nutrilon tea.haha)... Ya, hidup adalah perjalanan, mau duduk dan  berdiri sambil melihat belakang? atau maju belajar melangkah dari masa lalu adalah pilihan, yang jelas, waktu akan selalu mengejar anda. (tumben serius.haha).. Lets begin by saying basmallah

Yah, kawan2, sekian dulu. Sesama manusia harus saling mengingatkan jika satu atau yang lainnya tersesat bukan?hehe

Wassalam

Sunda yang kehilangan Rumah (2011)

Kembali hati ini mengecam kaki untuk mendaki sebuah rumah yang sudah lama terpatri.
Saat aku melihat rumah itu, aku teringat akan sesuatu, tetapi sudahlah, itu hanyalah gumam fikiranku.
Lagi, ku hentakkan jari tangan ini seraya rumah itu melambai ke arahku seakan ia berpenghuni.
Rebahlah aku di kursi ruang tamu rumah itu, dan
Anak-anak yang kecil, kurus, dan letih terus berlari ke halaman belakang, dan
Mereka pecahkan guci-guci di almari, dan
Aku pun tertunduk lesu.
Aku pun ternyata berada di rumah yang tak berpenghuni itu, dan aku malu.
Aku dan anak-anak itu telah kehilangan urat kemaluan.

Sembari menggenggam terumpet di bilah kiri tanganku, aku pun bercampur dengan mereka.
Kami terhanyut dalam buai derap langkah kami.
Aku berdiri di atas meja dan berteriak, menjerit, mengeram sebuah kejujuran.
Rumah ini menjadi lembab.
Angin panas setubuhi atap dari rumah yang kusut ini.
Kami tak peduli dan hanya bermain khalayak Sang Tuan Rumah.
Kami kuasai rumah ini, dan tumpahkan imajinasi kami.
Aku sudah bilang, kami telah kehilangan urat kemaluan.

The Payback

Its a bad poem
As she makes me worse
As she finds herself innocent

You just fuck off out of me
You just suck the marrow of others` lives

Go get your gloves
Pray for your funeral
Bring your tombstone
Close your eyes

You give me the payback of my past
I owe you nothing

I will walk on my path

The Note of I

I was so completely imperfect

Never heard me saying an absolute truth
Never seen me making them blush

You`ve been watching me beneath the bush
You need no rush
In this ambush

Just let me imagining
Picturing
Yet, wondering reacting and solving
Before I finish the note

Trapped

I stare the stars
The sky embrace the light of mine
Ground feels round
O life, I am bound

Thee wake me up
Thy heart stabs me
This leakage strikes me to down deep
O life, My bone is bleeding

O, life, Me trapped
Under the different trees, Me stayed
I wanted to walk, the wind pulls me
It`s my life, O life

I could smell the rose beneath thy leaves
Thee sing me under the grief
While I am standing, I sing
"O faith, no hate, loving you is Fate"

(I`m)possible

         The sun hid behind conceited mountain and the agony of the clouds. A bird sang along with sheds of leaves. The last-night-rain wiped away hardships of my town. Good morning beautiful day. I wished somebody would open my window or even said hello to me that day. As I walked to a living-room, there would be a piece of paper attached to the aged freezer, it said: Ron, there`s Rp.20.000 in your bag, spend it wisely, & have a nice day sweetheart." My mom set all our daily plans as well that morning, unless she forgot to serve my breakfast, but I was still clinging to a hope that I would be in the pink, though no food in my stomach. Oh, that`s great because one of today subjects was Math!

The mist stepped away from my humble abode. I saw the blue sky fly upon my head, wishing the rain would not come. I thought that was a great signal to start my activities.

                                                                      - - - -

The clock ticked away this life. People had found themselves in a fondness of lust and joy. The death has to be something forgotten. The world totally...
"Ron, Ron...!" a man shouted with his black looks.
Yes, Sir, pardon me, but did you mention my name?
"Geez, what do you think?"
I do think so, sir.
I forced this lips to be seen, innocent. Wow, that was a good question, enough to drown me beyond this awkward moment. My lord, I wish it was not happened. Was it sin? to let go of my imagination floating my brain? I assumed there was no room for me to stay.
The bell finally rang. I could not believe it, God must love me! I put my books back into my bag and walked away as the wind blows freely. I felt the air was crawling beneath my dark complexion.
I took a step from my class and no one dared to bother me. You would know why. Frankly, I hate to communicate with people around me. Consequently, I had a great and honorable title, "Idiotic nerd". That was the way I lived.

To be continued...

The Start

Its gonna be a shinny day
Where the lines seem so long
Two roads meant to be fail
I told you, its a start

Going nowhere but keep silence
I trust in patience
Though it makes a distance
I told myself, once

I keep staring at the star
There I saw a corpse
I take a step back
And there was no hack

I sit
I lie
I fall
I am awake, still

I am just about to start my future...from now .. on . . .

The Dream Killer

Thy love is seen
No need to be hated
Thee drown us to an eternal love
No brain to have,
Give me more

Thou comes and stays, and gone, but why?
I need you, not to leave
I hate you when thou leave
I am living, but you never exist
Give me more love

The sun shines to me, thee fade
I have been choked,
Please leave, just, leave
I am not yours, though thee was buzzing, only in my mind,

HappyNess

Even when you closed your eyes, you can hear people`s laugh, smell the fresh air that crawls beneath your skin, and speak the beautiful truth. Even in the dark, you can be happy, if only you believed in your heart, because it will light the way.

Happiness never fades.

Dawn

Early morning the sun rises to the bottom of the root,
The sparkle roads divide the two things different, my wife`s home, and my workplace
I shall go first to my wife`s home,
I trust my heart wholeheartedly so that I cannot blame for myself,
Sudden call hung me up awhile,
My mom calls me to bring a drink,
I am to shrink,
My mind abruptly is wondering that lust should go first,

Let her hopes and I go wildly,
The roads left only one way, straight to my wife`s,
Why it comes like this?Is this come by itself?
I am not waiting, but running
The sun put my clothes wet
There is no time to be lost
While I am myself, undoubtedly, lost

The time arrives,
My wife waits,
The night stares,
And I forget, I missed the dawn.

(Mom, dad, whatever it`ll be, I`ll be your son, and u R my hero)

Naked

Leak in my side
Broke my arm
Clutching the eyes of mine
The wind blowing crudely

I push the stars
I blow the sun
I kick the rainbow
The air struck the window

I aint touch my pen
I shred the paper
I wrote nothing
I am, naked...